Looking at 2008: Slim Pickin’s

Sorry I haven’t been writing much. I’ve been busy organizing war protests at military funerals so that, at the most sensitive and desperate time in their lives, the families of the fallen know just how much we hate the choice their lost loved-ones made. Rubbing it in is an important part of the anti-war movement.

So it’s time to gear up for the 2008 presidential election. I think we all know Hillary’s going to take the Democrat nomination pretty easily. Obama has a chance, but he’s an Uncle Tom and a little green. And they’re both way too conservative, but these are the best chances we’ve got at taking back the White House from the Nazis.

As it stands right now, Hillary will likely be taking on John McCain or Rudi Giuliani. This brings up an interesting choice for the Republicans, and a brutal choice for the rest of us: If Hillary can’t win a general election, who would be better between McCain and Giuliani?

On the one hand, you’ve got McCain, who’s a fascist for going to war and because of his extreme right-wing voting record. He seems like a good choice for the Nazis, but for some reason conservatives don’t trust him. This could be because he tries to bypass partisan bickering to work with traitor Democrats to get things done. It could also be that he has repeatedly butted heads with Bush, most recently over the immoral “liberation” of Iraq. McCain wants more troops — more troops! — over there to, I suppose, lower the violence and kill more terrorists. If there’s a more immoral stance than Bush’s “stay the course”, it’s putting more troops in Iraq — this might actually help our troops succeed, which would be a total disaster. So as far as I’m concerned, McCain would be an evil president.

On the other hand, there’s Giuliani, who will always have a lot of support because of his “leadership” during 9/11. What a joke. Bush most likely planned 9/11. I’m sure he warned Giuliani about what was going to happen. So, being prepared, of course both leaders acted with courage and poise. (Michael Moore’s a fool for thinking that Bush’s 7-minute inaction after finding out about the attacks was real — it’s so obviously fake. And horrible acting, I might add.) The charade worked well, because their “leadership” impressed the world who now looked at America and was duped into thinking, “Wow, they have great leaders over there!” There was so much good will that America was unobstructed — helped, even — in immorally deposing the Taliban and “liberating” Afghanistan.

Then there’s Giuliani’s governing record. And that, my friends, is as fascist as it gets. Any mayor who was able to turn New York around from the dump that it was to the city it is now must have been an immoral tyrant. A good, fair mayor would have never succeeded like that. Needless to say, I think Giuliani would be an evil president too.

If I had to choose between the two, I guess I’d go with McCain because of his age. He’s old enough that he could pass away while still president. This would be a “tragic” event, which we need more of in America.